{"product_id":"no-condom-in-my-wallet-because-the-only-thing-im-fucking-is-stupid-funny-t-shirt","title":"No Condom In My Wallet Because The Only Thing I'm Fucking Is Stupid Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe No Condom In My Wallet Because The Only Thing I'm Fucking Is Stupid Tee is Unethical Threads at peak self-destruction. A shirt that says everything about you in one sentence, and none of it is good. Heavyweight cotton, unisex S through 4XL, available in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've accepted their own stupidity as a permanent condition. This isn't aspirational wear. It's a white flag you put on voluntarily, and then you go to the grocery store in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of person who buys this shirt already knows the punchline applies to them personally. That's not a dealbreaker. That's the entire selling point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (your poor decisions are size-inclusive)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic stays sharp and doesn't crack or peel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely, for the right person. That person is your friend who does something idiotic at least once a week and owns it completely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot your coworker. Not your boss. Not someone you just started dating. This is a \"we've been friends long enough that I can call you stupid with love\" kind of purchase. If you have to wonder whether they'd laugh, they're not the right recipient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable no matter your build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt good quality?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with DTG printing. The graphic holds up and the fabric doesn't thin out over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe joke is entirely at the wearer's expense, so anyone offended is really reaching. But yes, someone will find a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors is this available in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick whichever matches your current level of existential dread.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling. The self-own is permanent.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42760023670866,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42760023703634,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42760023736402,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42760023769170,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42760023801938,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42760023834706,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42760023867474,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42760023900242,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42760023933010,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42760023965778,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42760023998546,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42760024031314,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42760024064082,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42760024096850,"sku":"NoCondomFuckingStupidF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/No_Condom_In_My_Wallet_Because_The_Only_Thing_Im_Fucking_Is_Stupid_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790426570","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/no-condom-in-my-wallet-because-the-only-thing-im-fucking-is-stupid-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}