{"product_id":"no-pussy-no-happy-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"No Pussy No Happy Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe No Pussy No Happy tee is Unethical Threads at its most philosophically unhinged. Broken-English wisdom printed on the back of a heavyweight cotton tee, because some truths hit harder when people read them as you walk away. Available in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who figured out the equation and aren't shy about broadcasting it. The No Pussy No Happy crowd says the quiet part loud and laughs about it after.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you nodded along to \"Life Hard Boobs Soft,\" welcome back. This is that same broken-English energy applied to a different universal truth. Pair it with a cold drink and absolutely no filter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because philosophy has no size limit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that sticks around longer than your last situationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print design, so you can look normal until you turn around\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person, this is a legendary gift. For the wrong person, it's a cry for help on your behalf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKnow your audience. If they laugh at broken-English philosophy and own more graphic tees than dress shirts, you're golden. If they've ever unironically said \"that's inappropriate,\" keep scrolling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does \"No Pussy No Happy\" mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's broken-English philosophy at its finest. Simple cause and effect. You either get it or you don't, and we're not here to explain it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or back of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack print. The front is blank so you can look perfectly normal until you walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on your workplace. If HR has a sense of humor, go for it. If you've seen the words \"professional attire\" in a company email, maybe save it for weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick your side.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808435114066,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808435146834,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808435179602,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808435212370,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808435245138,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808435277906,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808435310674,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808435343442,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808435376210,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808435408978,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808435441746,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808435474514,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808435507282,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808435540050,"sku":"NoPussyNoHappyB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/No_Pussy_No_Happy__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791923454","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/no-pussy-no-happy-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}