{"product_id":"nobody-dies-a-virgin-life-fucks-us-all-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"Nobody Dies A Virgin Life Fucks Us All Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Nobody Dies A Virgin Life Fucks Us All tee from Unethical Threads says what your therapist is too polite to. A well-known gallows humor line, printed on the back of a heavyweight cotton tee in black or white. Bleak, honest, and somehow comforting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've made peace with the fact that life is going to rough them up regardless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePhilosophy majors, bartenders, nurses, and anyone who processes existential dread through laughter. It reads more 'I've accepted it' than 'I'm having a crisis.' The back print means you deliver the punchline to everyone behind you, which is honestly the best way to break bad news.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not the tissue-paper stuff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because nihilism comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're depressed, not fancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printing so the ink bonds to the fabric and holds its color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign on the back. Front is blank.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they laugh at funerals (in a coping mechanism way, not a concerning way), yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gag gift that's actually wearable, not just a punchline someone shoves in a drawer. Great for birthdays, white elephants, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. That's either sweet or alarming depending on the friendship.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or back of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is printed on the back of the shirt. The front is blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print crack or peel after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing process bonds the ink directly to the fabric, so it holds up through regular washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an original Unethical Threads saying?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase has been floating around the internet for years. We just put it on a shirt that doesn't look terrible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack and white.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42771470057554,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42771470090322,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42771470123090,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42771470155858,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42771470188626,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42771470221394,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42771470254162,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42771470286930,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42771470319698,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42771470352466,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42771470385234,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42771470418002,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42771470450770,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42771470483538,"sku":"NobodyDiesAVirginLifeFucksUsAllB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Nobody_Dies_A_Virgin_Life_Fucks_Us_All__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790837334","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/nobody-dies-a-virgin-life-fucks-us-all-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}