{"product_id":"pizza-doesnt-complain-when-i-finish-in-2-minutes-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes tee from Unethical Threads is a back print graphic shirt that lets your pizza do the emotional heavy lifting your love life can't. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've accepted that their most stable relationship involves a cardboard box. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is for the person who orders delivery at 11 PM and feels more seen by the Domino's tracker than by anyone they've dated. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so everyone walking behind you gets the full confession while you're blissfully unaware, probably thinking about garlic knots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually survives the wash (unlike your last situationship)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we do have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its color longer than you hold eye contact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBack print design\u003c\/strong\u003e, so the people behind you in line know exactly what they're dealing with\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect gift for someone who can laugh at themselves. Which is a requirement, not a suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBirthday, holiday, gag gift, \"I saw this and thought of you\" energy. If your friend, partner, or coworker has ever made a self-deprecating joke about their performance (in anything, really), this shirt handles the rest. Pair it with an actual pizza and you're basically a hero.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFollow the care label and it won't. Wash cold, tumble dry low. It's not complicated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. The fit is unisex and relaxed, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or the back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe back. The front is blank, so you look normal until you walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill people be offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSome people, yes. But those people weren't going to like you anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCold wash, tumble dry low, inside out if you want to baby it. The DTG print holds up well with basic care.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808448614482,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808448647250,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808448680018,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808448712786,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808448745554,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808448778322,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808448811090,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808448843858,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808448876626,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808448909394,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808448942162,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808448974930,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808449007698,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808449040466,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Pizza_Doesnt_Complain_When_I_Finish_In_2_Minutes__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791925742","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/pizza-doesnt-complain-when-i-finish-in-2-minutes-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}