{"product_id":"pizza-doesnt-complain-when-i-finish-in-2-minutes-funny-t-shirt","title":"Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes tee is an Unethical Threads original for anyone who's made peace with the fact that pizza is their most supportive relationship. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's honest about their speed in at least one area of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever housed an entire pizza before the delivery driver made it back to the car, this shirt already belongs to you in spirit. It's the kind of self-deprecating humor that only works when you genuinely don't care anymore. And honestly, owning it is funnier than hiding it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can survive your couch, your barstool, and whatever sauce situation you inevitably create\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (the formal neckline of inappropriate shirts)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for color that actually sticks around, unlike most of your relationships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you've ever given.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt for the friend who over-shares, the sibling who peaked in college, or anyone who's ever made a room uncomfortable on purpose. If they laugh at the title, hand it over. If they wince, hand it over faster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on everybody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt available in different colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It comes in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing locks the design in so it stays sharp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDefine appropriate. It's a shirt about pizza. If someone reads more into it, that says more about them than you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable and durable.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808446779474,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808446812242,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808446845010,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808446877778,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808446910546,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808446943314,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808446976082,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808447008850,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808447041618,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808447074386,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808447107154,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808447139922,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808447172690,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808447205458,"sku":"PizzaDoesntComplain2MinutesF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Pizza_Doesnt_Complain_When_I_Finish_In_2_Minutes_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791925483","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/pizza-doesnt-complain-when-i-finish-in-2-minutes-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}