{"product_id":"professional-wiener-flutist-funny-t-shirt","title":"Professional Wiener Flutist Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Professional Wiener Flutist tee from Unethical Threads. It's a credential, not a confession. Available in black or white on heavyweight cotton, for anyone who takes their craft very, very seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a very specific sense of humor and zero interest in explaining themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBand kids who grew up wrong, musicians with a grudge, and the person at the party who introduces themselves with a title that is technically, legally accurate. If you've ever put something on your resume that made a recruiter pause and reread, you already own this shirt in spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that holds its shape (this is professional-grade, after all)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because professional attire demands a professional neckline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that lasts longer than your dignity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift for someone with the right sense of humor and a terrible LinkedIn headline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt you give to the friend who peaked in marching band, the coworker who says the quiet part loud, or anyone who genuinely does not care what HR thinks. If the recipient needs it explained, pick a different shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does \"Professional Wiener Flutist\" mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExactly what it says. It's a very specific, very serious job title. If you need it explained, this shirt isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it'll hold up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you like your job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it come in other colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Keep it classic.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42734876819538,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42734876852306,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42734876885074,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42734876917842,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42734876950610,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42734876983378,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42734877016146,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42734877048914,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42734877081682,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42734877114450,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42734877147218,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42734877179986,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42734877212754,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42734877245522,"sku":"ProfessionalWienerFlutistF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Professional_Wiener_Flutist_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1789470537","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/professional-wiener-flutist-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}