{"product_id":"scissoring-hurts-my-balls-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"Scissoring Hurts My Balls Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Scissoring Hurts My Balls tee is a back-print text shirt from Unethical Threads. Blank front, three bold lines across the back, and a grievance delivered with the energy of a man reporting a recurring knee problem. He's not joking, he's documenting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA man who considers this a medical fact, not a punchline. He puts the shirt on, walks into the bar, and lets the back do the talking while he faces forward like a completely normal person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe front is blank, so he's unremarkable until he turns around and files his complaint over one shoulder to whoever happens to be standing there. He never has to see the reaction. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that holds up to repeat washes and repeat offenses.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for the whole man and his whole grievance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck. Classic. Not trying to reinvent anything here.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the text stays bold and sharp through every wash cycle.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign is on the back only. The front is blank. Stealth mode until you walk away.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a gift shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the better adult gag gifts you can hand someone. Perfect for bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, and the friend whose sense of humor peaked at \u003cem\u003edeeply inappropriate\u003c\/em\u003e a decade ago and never came back down. Wrap it up, hand it over, and watch them unfold a grievance they didn't know they needed to file.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the text on the front or the back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBack only. The front is completely blank. You look normal from the front, then you walk away and the shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, so the ink is embedded in the fabric. Wash on cold, tumble dry low, and the text stays sharp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good bachelor party shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt was practically made for one. Also works for bachelorette parties, adult gift exchanges, and anyone who likes to leave a room better than they entered it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42542669070418,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42542669103186,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42542669135954,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42542669168722,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42542669201490,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42542669234258,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42542669267026,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42542669299794,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42542669332562,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42542669365330,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42542669398098,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42542669430866,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42542669463634,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42542669496402,"sku":"ScissoringHurtsMyBallsB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Scissoring_Hurts_My_Balls__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786195557","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/scissoring-hurts-my-balls-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}