{"product_id":"the-owner-of-the-boner-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"The Owner Of The Boner Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Owner Of The Boner Tee from Unethical Threads is a deadpan diagram worn on a human body. One arrow points up at your face, another points down, and bold block capitals in between handle the rest. It's signage, not subtlety.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a firm grip on self-awareness. The kind who'd stand still for a museum placard if it described them accurately enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design runs top to bottom: arrow up, three lines of block text, arrow down. It turns the wearer into a labeled cross-section, and the whole thing lands with the quiet confidence of something that absolutely should not be on a shirt. Comes in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't go see-through after a few washes (which, given the subject matter, matters)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that outlasts your dignity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know them well enough to point at their anatomy with printed arrows, yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBachelor parties, birthday revenge, any holiday where honesty beats sentimentality. The Owner Of The Boner Tee works wherever the dress code has already been abandoned. Pair it with a card that just says 'sorry'.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs The Owner Of The Boner Tee comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton, relaxed unisex fit, crew neck. It's built for all-day wear, even if society isn't ready for all-day you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Ownership is not size-restricted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends on where you wear it and how much you care. The arrows do the talking. You just stand there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing keeps the color locked in. The arrows will still be pointing long after you wish they'd stop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does The Owner Of The Boner Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick your fighter.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42705248190546,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42705248223314,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42705248256082,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42705248288850,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42705248321618,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42705248354386,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42705248387154,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42705248419922,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42705248452690,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42705248485458,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42705248518226,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42705248550994,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42705248583762,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42705248616530,"sku":"TheOwnerOfTheBonerF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/The_Owner_Of_The_Boner_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1788550287","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/the-owner-of-the-boner-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}