{"product_id":"therapy-is-expensive-dick-is-free-funny-t-shirt","title":"Therapy Is Expensive Dick Is Free Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Therapy Is Expensive Dick Is Free tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who's done the cost-benefit analysis on mental health and made a questionable pivot. Heavyweight cotton graphic tee available in black or white. Because sometimes the honest answer is the worst one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've accepted that their coping mechanisms are terrible and decided to lean all the way in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour chronically single friend. Your coworker who overshares at happy hour. The person in your group chat who responds to every crisis with a joke instead of, you know, processing it. This shirt is for the people who treat bad decisions like a personality trait and aren't particularly looking for a way out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes (looking at you, every cheap tee ever made)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic actually stays put, not that crackly iron-on nonsense from 2009\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white, because commitment is hard\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, if you know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't something you hand your coworker at a Secret Santa. It's for the friend who'd laugh, screenshot it, and send it to three group chats before they even open the box. If you have to wonder whether they'd find it funny, they won't. But if you already know, you already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so it runs slightly roomy. If you're between sizes, your usual size works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printing. The design is part of the fabric, not sitting on top of it. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal shrinkage with cold wash and low heat dry. Follow the care label and you're fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever situation you walk into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack and white.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808655708242,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808655741010,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808655773778,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808655806546,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808655839314,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808655872082,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808655904850,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808655937618,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808655970386,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808656003154,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808656035922,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808656068690,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808656101458,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808656134226,"sku":"TherapyIsExpensiveDickIsFreeF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Therapy_Is_Expensive_Dick_Is_Free_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791931956","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/therapy-is-expensive-dick-is-free-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}