{"product_id":"why-are-boob-owners-evil-funny-t-shirt","title":"Why Are Boob Owners Evil Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Why Are Boob Owners Evil tee from Unethical Threads takes a perfectly valid question and puts it on heavyweight cotton. It reads like a formal complaint filed against attraction itself. Available in black or white, sizes S to 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been personally wronged by boob owners and want documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlso anyone who thinks the funniest shirts sound like they were drafted during a breakup debrief. If you've ever stared at the ceiling at 2 AM wondering why someone with that much power chose violence, congratulations. You found your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that takes itself as seriously as the question on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (you're filing a formal inquiry, not attending a V-neck symposium)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the color survives your laundry habits and your life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly, and that person probably deserved it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe question on this shirt isn't hostile. It's inquisitive. It approaches boob owner evil with the calm detachment of a researcher who has been hurt before. If someone gets mad, they're probably a boob owner, and their reaction kind of proves the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Why Are Boob Owners Evil tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable no matter who's asking the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt available in different colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Choose based on your current outlook.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling. The question on your chest will hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRelaxed unisex fit. If you're between sizes, size down for a fitted look or stay true for the intended loose feel.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42771638255698,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42771638288466,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42771638321234,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42771638354002,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42771638386770,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42771638419538,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42771638452306,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42771638485074,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42771638517842,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42771638550610,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42771638583378,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42771638616146,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42771638648914,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42771638681682,"sku":"WhyAreBoobOwnersEvilF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Why_Are_Boob_Owners_Evil_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790860568","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/why-are-boob-owners-evil-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}