AAA Eating Ass Is Not A Crime T Shirt

Unethical Threads made the Eating Ass Is Not A Crime tee for everyone who's done pretending they're classy. It says what it says. Heavyweight cotton, printed to last, available S through 4XL because this movement has no size limit.

Who actually wears this?

Honest people. People who understood the assignment and aren't interested in sugarcoating anything, least of all their wardrobe.

You wear this to the bar, the cookout, the grocery store on a Tuesday. It pairs nicely with cargo shorts and a complete lack of shame.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue sample
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck (a V-neck here would be trying too hard)
• DTG print, so the colors stay exactly where they are. No cracking, no fading.
• Pre-shrunk, because surprises belong at parties, not in your laundry

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift. Nothing says "I know exactly who you are" like handing someone an Eating Ass Is Not A Crime shirt on their birthday.

Also works for White Elephant, bachelor parties, or the classic "I saw this and thought of you." That last one is genuinely the most romantic gesture of our generation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Yes. Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed unisex fit. Soft, not stiff. You'll forget you're wearing a legal argument.

Will it shrink in the wash?
It's pre-shrunk. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it stays true to size.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

How long does the print last?
It's DTG printed, meaning the ink bonds with the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no sad faded ghost of a shirt after ten washes.

Can I wear this in public?
Legally, yes. Socially, that depends on your neighborhood. We've seen it at weddings.