AAA I'll Beat / Eat Your Ass Shirt

The I'll Beat / Eat Your Ass shirt from Unethical Threads says what you're too polite to say out loud. Two promises, one slash, zero ambiguity. A graphic tee for people who commit to a bit.

Who's actually buying this?

People who think threats and flirting should occupy the same sentence.

This shirt lives in that beautiful gray area between fighting words and a pickup line, and the slash in the middle is doing all the heavy lifting. You're either making a promise or issuing a warning. Possibly both. Context is everything and you're providing none of it.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a screen-printing afterthought
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL because this energy comes in every size
• Crew neck classic cut, nothing weird going on up top
• DTG printed so the colors stay loud wash after wash (unlike your filter, apparently)

Can I give this as a gift?

Absolutely. Top-tier gift for the friend who says the quiet part loud at every gathering.

It works for birthdays, white elephants, or any occasion where you want to hand someone a shirt and watch them ugly-laugh. Just know your audience. Your coworker Dave from accounting? Maybe. Your grandma? Read the room.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually soft or is it one of those cardboard-stiff novelty tees?
It's heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Soft, solid, and doesn't fall apart after three washes.

Will the print crack or fade?
Nope. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers. Wash it inside out in cold water and it'll outlast your relationships.

What sizes do you carry?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is this going to get me in trouble?
That depends entirely on where you wear it and how fast you can run. We sell the shirt, not the consequences.