AAA All My Friends Are On Federal Watchlists T Shirt

The All My Friends Are On Federal Watchlists t-shirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A public declaration that your social circle is, at best, interesting to the government. Wear it to family dinner. See what happens.

Who actually wears this?

People who've accepted that their group chat alone could trigger an investigation.

Your friend who says "allegedly" a little too often. The one whose search history would make a prosecutor cry. If your crew runs clean, this shirt isn't for you, and honestly, you sound boring.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because federal attention doesn't discriminate by body type
• Classic crew neck
• DTG (direct-to-garment) printing for color that holds up through every wash and every lineup
• Pairs well with poor life choices and a lawyer on retainer

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift.

If someone in your life has ever made you think "yeah, they're definitely on a list," this is their shirt. Works for birthdays, holidays, bail celebrations. It tells the recipient you pay attention, you get them, and you're not a snitch about it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt actually put me on a watchlist?

We can't confirm or deny. But if you weren't on one before, wearing this around an airport probably won't help.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Will the print fade or crack?

It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on that peels after three washes. Follow the care label (cold wash, tumble dry low) and you're good.

Is this appropriate for work?

Depends where you work. If your office has a sense of humor, go for it. If HR already has a file on you, maybe don't add fuel.