Anal Bead Tug Of War Champion Hoodie

The Anal Bead Tug Of War Champion hoodie from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. You either earned the title or you're manifesting it. Either way, it's printed on heavyweight cotton that's as committed as you are.

Who actually wears this?

People who peaked in ways that don't go on a resume.

Your friend group has one. Might be you, might be someone you're buying this for. Either way, someone's opening this at a party, and the group chat will never be the same.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't tap out after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL (champions come in all sizes)
• Crew neck, because you're not a monster
• DTG print for color that outlasts your dignity
• Machine washable, unlike your reputation

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift if you actually know the person.

This is the hoodie you give someone when a gift card feels too impersonal and you want genuine shock on their face. Baby showers, white elephant, Secret Santa. The worse the occasion, the better it lands.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this hoodie shrink?

It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. The only thing shrinking is your coworker's will to make eye contact.

What sizes does it come in?

S through 4XL. Every champion deserves a proper fit.

Is the print going to crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric fibers. This design will outlast most of your friendships.

Is this a good gag gift?

It's the best gag gift. Nothing says "I know exactly who you are" like handing someone this hoodie at a party.

How do I wash it?

Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to baby the print, but DTG can handle it.