Apparently I'm Still Not Old Enough To Know Better Tee

The Apparently I'm Still Not Old Enough To Know Better tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who heard the lecture, nodded politely, and did it again anyway. Heavyweight cotton, available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL. Cheerful defiance, no apology required.

Who's This Shirt Actually For?

Anyone over thirty who still gets "the look" from their mother.

This is the shirt for the friend who makes questionable decisions with full situational awareness. The one who already knows it's a bad idea and has made peace with it. If you've ever said "I know, I know" before someone finished the sentence, congratulations. This is your uniform.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a suggestion.
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Fits the whole spectrum of poor decision-makers.
• Crew neck. Classic. We didn't reinvent anything here.
• DTG printed for color that lasts. It'll outlive whatever bad decision you're celebrating.
• Available in black or white. Pick the one that matches your moral flexibility.

Is This a Good Birthday Gift?

It's a perfect birthday gift. Specifically for anyone whose birthday proves the shirt's point.

Works for the friend who is somehow still like this at forty-three. The dad who keeps getting himself into situations. The coworker whose stories always start with "so I probably shouldn't have, but." It's cheaper than an intervention and more honest than a greeting card.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

Unisex S through 4XL, relaxed fit. Runs true to size, no need to size up unless you want extra room for bad decisions.

Will this shrink in the wash?

Minimal shrinkage on heavyweight cotton if you wash cold and tumble dry low. Follow the care label. You're an adult. Apparently.

Is this a good birthday gift?

It's practically a birthday card you can wear. Perfect for anyone turning an age that should've come with better judgment but didn't.

Does the print fade or crack?

DTG printed for lasting color. Holds up through regular washing, which is more than we can say for most people's decision-making.

What colors does this come in?

Black or white. That's it.