Are You A Balcony Cuz It Looks Like You Need A Sturdy Railing Tee

The Are You A Balcony Cuz It Looks Like You Need A Sturdy Railing tee is Unethical Threads at peak form: a vintage pin-up pickup line shirt that compliments someone's curves by way of architecture. Retro illustration, zero subtlety, available in black or white.

Who actually wears this?

People who think the best compliments involve load-bearing capacity.

This is the shirt you throw on when you want to make someone laugh, blush, and question your knowledge of building codes all at once. The vintage pin-up art keeps it just classy enough to wear outside your own house.

• Heavyweight cotton. Serious fabric for an unserious message.
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the colors stay put longer than most relationships
• Available in black or white

Does this actually work as a gift?

Absolutely.

If someone in your life has the confidence and the curves, this graphic tee is the birthday, Valentine's, or "I saw this and immediately thought of you" gift they didn't know they needed. Pairs well with poor judgment and great comedic timing. They will wear it until it disintegrates.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit that works on everyone.

Will the print fade after washing?

No. DTG printing holds its color. You'll get tired of the shirt before the art gives out.

What colors is this shirt available in?

Black or white. Pick whichever matches your energy.

Is this too inappropriate to wear in public?

It's a pickup line with vintage pin-up art. Flirty, not filthy. You'll get smiles, not HR violations.