Are You An Escalator Cuz I Wanna Go Down On You Tee

The Are You An Escalator Cuz I Wanna Go Down On You Tee is a pickup line so bad it wraps back around to brilliant. Unethical Threads put it on heavyweight cotton so you can wear your worst impulse in public. It's flirty, stupid, and somehow still charming.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who peaked at bar trivia and aren't sorry about it. If your sense of humor runs somewhere between "dad joke" and "HR violation," this is your lane.

Works for nights out, lazy Sundays, or basically any situation where you've decided subtlety isn't on the menu. Pair it with confidence or at least plausible deniability.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't fall apart after three washes like that gas station tee you're still wearing
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck (because v-necks are a whole different energy)
• DTG printed for color that actually sticks around
• Machine washable, turn inside out if you want to be nice about it

Is This a Good Gift?

It's a perfect gift for someone you know well enough to buy something inappropriate for. Not your coworker's retirement party (unless you really know the room).

Think: best friends, partners who appreciate a terrible pun, or that person in your life who already owns at least two shirts that make people uncomfortable. If they laugh at the escalator line, they'll love having it on their chest.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Will the print fade after washing?
DTG printing holds its color. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to keep it looking sharp for years.

Is this shirt appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work. Probably not most offices. Definitely yes if you work from home.

What's the shirt made of?
Heavyweight cotton with real weight to it, not that tissue-paper-thin stuff.

Can I wear this around my parents?
You can wear it anywhere. Whether you should is a different question.