Beer Goggles Need Me Tee

The Beer Goggles Need Me Tee from Unethical Threads is for the person who's already done the uncomfortable math and decided to lead with it. A self-aware drinking humor shirt that says what everyone at the bar was already thinking, just louder.

Who actually wears this?

People who've accepted the situation and decided to own it. The kind of person who gets funnier the later it gets.

The Beer Goggles Need Me Tee plays at bachelor parties, dive bars, and anywhere lowered standards are part of the atmosphere. It's not trying to be charming. It's the nuclear option for anyone who'd rather get the joke in first.

• Heavyweight cotton. Substantial enough to survive a night out, not a tissue with sleeves.
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL. Room to breathe, room to make questionable decisions.
• Crew neck. Classic. Nothing fancy, nothing to explain.
• DTG print for color that lasts. The joke holds up. So does the ink.
• Available in black or white. Pick your fighter.

Is this a good gift?

One of the best, if you know the person.

This is a gift for your buddy who already introduces himself as everyone's bad decision. Grab it for a birthday, a holiday, or the most passive-aggressive Secret Santa pick of all time. Just make sure the recipient can laugh at themselves, or you've got bigger problems than a t-shirt can solve.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Beer Goggles Need Me Tee come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

Is this shirt good quality?

Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing. The kind of shirt that survives a night out and still looks the same the next morning.

What colors does it come in?

Black or white. Both let the text do all the work.

Can I wear this in public?

You can wear it anywhere you'd say the words out loud. Bars, house parties, casual Fridays at a company with low standards. Maybe skip the christening.

Will this shirt shrink?

Follow the care label. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it holds its shape.