Beers Don't Complain When You Finish In 2 Minutes Tee

The Beers Don't Complain When You Finish In 2 Minutes Tee is exactly what it sounds like, and if you need it explained, this one isn't for you. A text-only front print on heavyweight cotton from Unethical Threads. The kind of joke that separates your real friends from your coworkers.

Who Actually Wears This?

People with a sense of humor and no interest in playing it safe. You know that friend who shows up to the cookout and everyone immediately checks what their shirt says? That's the target audience. This is the shirt you throw on when you want your outfit to do the talking and you don't particularly care who's listening.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't fall apart after three washes (unlike your last relationship)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room to breathe, room to gesture dramatically while retelling the joke.
• Crew neck. Classic. Not trying to reinvent anything here.
• DTG printed so the colors stay locked in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading into a sad blur.
• Text-only front print on black or white. Clean and legible from across the bar.

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

If you know the person well enough to give them this, you already know the answer. This is a birthday gift for your buddy, a gag gift for a bachelor party, or an "I saw this and thought of you" moment that says more than a Hallmark card ever could. Just maybe don't give it to your boss. Or do. We're not your HR department.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Beers Don't Complain tee come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly to the fabric, so it holds up wash after wash without cracking, peeling, or fading.

Is this shirt appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work. If your office has a ping pong table and a beer fridge, probably. If it has a dress code and an HR department, read the room.

What's the shirt made of?
Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Solid, comfortable, the kind of shirt you'll actually want to wear.

How should I wash this?
Turn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print holds up fine, but treating it right keeps the colors sharp longer.