AAA Bring Me My Keys T Shirt

The Bring Me My Keys tee from Unethical Threads puts your worst impulse on heavyweight cotton. Beer bottles, a demand instead of a request, and the kind of confidence only four drinks deep can give you. It's not a cry for help. It's a whole lifestyle.

Who actually wears this?

People who've been cut off at least once. The friend everyone loves but nobody trusts with a set of car keys.

If you've ever texted "I'm fine to drive" and immediately walked into a screen door, this is your uniform. Wear it to the pregame. Wear it to brunch. Wear it to your court-mandated class if you're feeling spicy.

• Heavyweight cotton that can survive whatever you spill on it (and you will spill on it)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL, because bad decisions come in every size
• Crew neck for when you need to look somewhat human at noon on a Sunday
• DTG print that keeps its color longer than you keep your composure
• Machine washable because you're definitely not hand-washing anything

Is this a good gift?

It's the perfect gift for the person your friend group has a side chat about.

You know exactly who needs the Bring Me My Keys shirt. The one who always says "one more round" three rounds after they should've stopped. The one who pats their pockets for keys that are already in the Uber driver's nightmares. Wrap it up, hand it over, watch them laugh and then completely miss the point.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually about drunk driving?
It's about a person who wants their keys. What they do after that is between them and their insurance company.

What sizes does the Bring Me My Keys tee come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it works on everyone.

Will the print crack or peel?
No. DTG printing soaks the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. The colors last.

Can I wear this to a bar?
You can and you should. It practically lives there.

Is this a good gift for someone?
If you know someone whose relationship with car keys is, let's say, complicated, yes. They'll wear it constantly.