Bring Me My Keys Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Bring Me My Keys Tee from Unethical Threads is a backprint that announces your intentions before anyone can stop you. Four words, no context, maximum chaos. If you know, you know.

Who actually wears this?

People who've said it and meant it.

The friend who gets handed water at the bar but asks for their keys anyway. This is the shirt for the person in the group chat everyone worries about but secretly loves. You're not reckless, you're just confident in your poor choices.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle your Saturday nights
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (bad decisions come in all sizes)
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG printed so the colors outlast your reputation
• Backprint design. People read it as you walk away from accountability.

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift for someone you're legally not allowed to hand actual car keys.

If you have a friend whose Uber rating is a personality trait, this is their shirt. Wrap it in a brown paper bag for full effect. They'll understand.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does "Bring Me My Keys" mean?

If you have to ask, this probably isn't your shirt. It's a drinking humor reference that hits hardest around last call.

Is the design on the front or back?

Backprint only. The front stays clean so you can maintain plausible deniability from the front.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone who's ever closed down a bar.

Will this shrink in the wash?

Follow the care instructions and it won't. Heavyweight cotton holds up fine. Your dignity at karaoke, less so.