Call Me The Third Little Piggy Sweatshirt

Unethical Threads put Call Me The Third Little Piggy on a sweatshirt because some of us learned what that piggy had and never recovered. If you know, you know. If you don't, maybe sit this one out.

Who actually wears this?

People who ruined their own childhood and thought it was funny.

You're the person who reads nursery rhymes with a straight face while absolutely dying inside. You think that deserves a sweatshirt. You're right, and here it is.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not some tissue-paper situation
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we got you)
• Crew neck because even degenerates can look put-together
• DTG printed so the colors hold up through every regrettable outing you wear this to
• Machine washable. You'll need that

Is this a good gift?

Only if you actually know the person.

This is not a safe pick for your office Secret Santa. But for your unhinged best friend, your sibling who shares your exact broken sense of humor, or yourself (you deserve nice things)? Perfect.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Third Little Piggy sweatshirt come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Is this sweatshirt actually good quality?

Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing for colors that actually last. This is not flimsy novelty garbage.

Can I machine wash it?

Yep. Cold wash, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to baby the print, but it holds up fine either way.

Will people understand the joke?

The right people will. And honestly, those are the only people whose opinions matter.

What if someone gets offended?

Then they don't get the joke, and that's their problem. You didn't wear it for them.