Do Not Give Me A Cigarette Hoodie

The Do Not Give Me A Cigarette hoodie from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's "quit" smoking six times this year. You know who you are. Wear it as a warning label or a cry for help. Either way, it's accurate.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's ever said "I only smoke when I drink" and then drinks five nights a week. It's the hoodie equivalent of handing your pack to a friend at the bar and begging them to hold it hostage. Whether you're genuinely trying to quit or just enjoy the performance of pretending to, this is your uniform.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a commitment you'll actually keep (unlike quitting)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL. Room to breathe, room to stress-eat instead of smoking
• Crew neck pullover. Classic silhouette, questionable life choices
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your willpower fades
• Pre-shrunk. At least one thing in your life won't let you down

Is this a good gift for someone trying to quit?

It's the best gift. It says "I support you" and "I'm also going to laugh at you" at the same time. Honestly, it's more useful than a nicotine patch because at least people can read it from across the room. Perfect for the friend who bums one dart and then chain-smokes the whole pack.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this hoodie shrink?

It's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it holds up.

What does DTG printing mean?

Direct-to-garment. The design is printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors stay sharp, print stays soft.

Is this hoodie unisex?

Yes. Relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Works on everybody.

Will this offend people?

Only the ones who keep offering you cigarettes after you asked them not to. So, yes.

Can I actually wear this to quit smoking?

You can try. No guarantees. But at least you'll look good failing.