Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say tee from Unethical Threads is a preemptive strike against your own worst instincts. Printed on the back so everyone behind you at 2 AM gets the message you're too far gone to deliver yourself. Available in black or white, because sober-you actually plans ahead.

Who is this shirt actually for?

Anyone who has ever said "I'm going home" and then woken up in a different city. This is the shirt for people who cannot be trusted after midnight and have fully accepted that about themselves.

The back print does the heavy lifting so your friends can read it while you're walking toward the DJ booth at 4 AM. It's a public service announcement funded entirely by your own bad track record. Drunk-you will ignore it, but at least your friends have written instructions now.

• Heavyweight cotton that handles whatever you put it through (and yourself through)
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S to 4XL, because poor decisions come in all sizes
• Crew neck, standard, comfortable, not trying to reinvent anything
• DTG printed for color that lasts longer than your "I'm only having one drink" promise
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

If you know someone who can't say no to afters, this is the most practical thing you'll ever buy them. It won't work, obviously. They'll still end up at some warehouse at 5 AM. But you'll have done your part.

Also works as a gift to yourself. Think of it as a contract between present-you and future-you. Future-you will breach that contract every single time, but the gesture is nice.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.

Is the design on the front or the back?
Back print only. The people behind you need to read it more than you do.

Will the print fade after washing?
DTG printing keeps the color locked in. Follow the care label and it'll outlast your going-out phase.

Does this come in other colors?
Black and white. Pick whichever matches your energy.

Is this actually going to stop me from going to afters?
No. But at least you gave your friends something to point at when they're dragging you home.