Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say Tee

The Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say Tee from Unethical Threads is a preemptive strike against your own worst impulses. You know exactly who you are at 1 AM. This shirt tells your friends what sober-you desperately needs them to hear.

Who actually needs this shirt?

Anyone who has ever texted "I'm literally coming" at 2:47 AM and then regretted their entire existence by sunrise. That person. You're that person.

This is the wearable equivalent of a living will for your social life. You're outsourcing self-control to whoever happens to read your chest. Available in black or white, because your poor life choices shouldn't be limited by colorway.

• Heavyweight cotton that can survive the night even if your dignity can't
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck (nothing fancy, you don't deserve fancy at 3 AM)
• DTG print for color that outlasts your willpower
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift for someone who can't say no?

It's the best gift. If someone in your life keeps saying "just one more" and then disappears until 6 AM, this is the intervention they didn't ask for. Cheaper than therapy, more direct than a group chat screenshot.

Wrap it. Hand it over. Watch them laugh, then watch them wear it, then watch them completely ignore it next Saturday. The circle of life.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

Sizes S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

What colors is this available in?

Black or white. Pick whichever matches your regret aesthetic.

Will the print fade after washing?

The DTG print holds its color. Your questionable decisions are permanent, and so is this print.

Is this shirt actually comfortable?

Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Comfortable enough to sleep on someone's couch in after the afters you swore you wouldn't go to.

Can I wear this to a party?

You can. Whether anyone listens to it is entirely on them.