Don't Be A Dummy Cum On Her Tummy Tee

The Don't Be A Dummy Cum On Her Tummy tee from Unethical Threads pairs a cheerful cartoon hot dog with the worst public-service announcement ever rhymed. It's a crude, sing-song couplet on heavyweight cotton, available in black or white. Mock-helpful advice for adults who never grew up.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who think safe-sex advice sounds funnier as a nursery rhyme. Bachelor party groups, gag gift buyers, and anyone whose sense of humor peaked somewhere around middle school and never looked back.

If your friend group has a group chat that would get you all fired, this shirt already has your name on it. It's the kind of thing you throw on when you want to make a stranger at the bar either laugh or leave. Mostly laugh.

• Heavyweight cotton that can survive your worst decisions (and your washing machine)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG printed so the colors actually last instead of cracking after three washes
• Available in black or white

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

It's the perfect gift if you know the person well enough that they won't stop talking to you over it. Bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges, birthday presents for the friend who already has everything except boundaries.

Pair it with a straight face when you hand it over. The delivery matters. And honestly, if someone in your life reads "Don't Be A Dummy Cum On Her Tummy" on a shirt with a cartoon hot dog and doesn't at least crack a smile, that's a them problem.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric, so the graphic stays sharp through every wash.

Is this shirt offensive?

Absolutely. That's the point.

What's the shirt made of?

Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper promo tee.

Can I wear this in public?

You can. Whether you should is between you and your local decency laws.