Don't Bully Me I Will Cum Tee

The Don't Bully Me I Will Cum Tee from Unethical Threads is the nuclear option for anyone who's ever been told to feel shame about literally anything. Available in black or white, it's the kind of shirt that ends a confrontation before it starts. Not because you're tough. Because you're unsettling.

Who actually wears this?

People who figured out that the best defense is making everyone else deeply uncomfortable. It's a power move disguised as a confession.

You'll see it at house parties, bachelor weekends, and anywhere someone decided dignity was holding them back. The Don't Bully Me I Will Cum shirt isn't for people who want to fit in. It's for the person who already won the argument by refusing to have one.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually holds its shape instead of turning into a sad dishrag
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL
• Crew neck, because even chaos needs a neckline
• DTG printed so the design stays vivid, not cracked and peeling after a few washes
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

It might be the best gift you've ever given. Specifically for that one friend you thought of the second you read the title.

Birthdays, white elephants, "I saw this and had to" moments. This is the gift that says "I know exactly who you are and I'm not sorry about it." If you have to wonder whether someone would wear this, it's not for them. But you already know who it IS for.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the print fade or crack?
No. DTG printing bonds directly with the cotton fibers. It stays put through every wash without cracking or peeling.

What sizes are available?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is the cotton soft or stiff?
Soft. It's heavyweight so it has structure, but it feels broken-in, not like cardboard.

Will this offend people?
Almost certainly. That's sort of the point. Wear responsibly or don't. We're not your parents.

Can I wear this in public?
Legally, yes. Socially, that depends entirely on how much you enjoy watching people try to process what they just read.