Drunk Cigs Don't Count Tee

The Drunk Cigs Don't Count tee by Unethical Threads is for everyone who becomes a casual smoker after their third drink. You know who you are. Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and honestly a more accurate personality descriptor than your dating profile.

Who's buying this?

Anyone who's ever said "I only smoke when I drink" for the fifth weekend in a row.

Party smokers, social puffers, and people who keep a pack in their jacket "just in case." If you've ever bummed a cigarette from a stranger outside a bar at 1 AM, this shirt already belongs to you. It's not a lifestyle. It's a tradition.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle smoke breaks and spilled drinks
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL (yes, your buddy who "quit" can wear it too)
• Crew neck, because apparently that matters to some of you
• DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the colors outlast your willpower
• Pre-shrunk, so it still fits after your Sunday morning shame spiral

Is this a good gift for a smoker?

It's the perfect gift for the friend who "quit smoking" three months ago but somehow always has a lighter on them.

Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or just calling someone out. They'll laugh. They'll also probably step outside for a cigarette right after opening it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?

It's pre-shrunk. It'll fit the same after washing as it did when you impulse-bought it at 2 AM.

What sizes does the Drunk Cigs Don't Count tee come in?

S through 4XL. We don't gatekeep bad decisions by size.

Is the print going to crack or peel?

No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on from a flea market. It holds up.

Is this shirt actually comfortable?

Heavyweight cotton, relaxed fit, crew neck. It feels like a real shirt, not a costume. You could sleep in it. You probably will.

Can I wear this around my parents?

You can. Whether you should is between you and your family's sense of humor.