Eat A Dick Tee

The Eat A Dick Tee from Unethical Threads puts "EAT A DICK YOU DUMB SHIT" across the chest in plain, unblinking type. Available in black or white. It's the shirt you wear when subtlety has officially failed.

Who actually wears this?

People who are done pretending to be polite.

Your roommate who named the group chat something unrepeatable. The friend who RSVPs to weddings with "I guess." Anyone who treats profanity as punctuation and considers a handshake too formal. This isn't a personality test. It's just a graphic tee. But it does say a lot.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't feel like a tissue paper hand-me-down
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck (because V-necks are a choice we didn't make)
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the letters stay sharp no matter how many times you wash it
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

Depends entirely on how well you know the person.

If they laugh at things most people apologize for, yes. If they've ever sent a text that was just a middle finger emoji with no context, absolutely. If they forward HR emails to the group chat for entertainment, wrap this up immediately. For anyone else, maybe get them a candle.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Eat A Dick Tee come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Will the print fade or crack?
It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. The text holds up through regular washing.

What's the shirt made of?
Heavyweight cotton. Feels substantial, not flimsy.

Does this come in other colors?
Black or white. Pick the one that matches your level of hostility.