For My Next Trick I'll Need A Condom And A Volunteer Tee

The For My Next Trick I'll Need A Condom And A Volunteer Tee from Unethical Threads takes classic magician patter and sends it exactly where you think it's going. It's the shirt equivalent of a rimshot after a dirty joke. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, sizes S-4XL.

Who actually wears this?

The kind of person who treats a party like an audition for something no one asked to see. That's the direct answer.

This shirt lands at bachelor parties, bar crawls, and any event where the host has already accepted what's about to happen. It's for the friend everyone describes as "a lot." If you've ever been asked to change before leaving the house, you already know why the For My Next Trick I'll Need A Condom And A Volunteer Tee exists.

• Fabric: Heavyweight cotton that actually has some weight to it, not the see-through stuff your gym gives away for free
• Fit: Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Neckline: Classic crew neck
• Print: DTG (direct-to-garment) printing, so the design stays sharp and the colors don't bail after three washes
• Available in: Black or white, because even terrible decisions come with options

Is this actually a good gift?

Yes. Especially if the person receiving it has terrible taste and fully owns it.

Bachelor parties, dirty Santa, birthday gifts for that friend who peaked in 2019 but still brings the energy. This is the shirt you hand someone when a gift card feels lazy and a heartfelt gift feels wrong. The For My Next Trick I'll Need A Condom And A Volunteer Tee says "I know exactly who you are and I support it." That's love, probably.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so grab your usual size. If you're between sizes, check the size chart, but most people are fine with their standard.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. It holds up through plenty of washes.

What colors does this come in?

Black or white. Pick whichever matches your level of audacity.

Can I wear this in public?

Technically, yes. Whether you should is a question only you and your tolerance for eye contact with strangers can answer.

Is this shirt a good gift?

It's a great gift for bachelor parties, birthdays, or anyone whose humor lives permanently in the gutter. Just know that giving this shirt says as much about you as it does about them.