Give Me A Beer Or I'll Kill Myself Tee

The Give Me A Beer Or I'll Kill Myself Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who's ever needed a drink so badly they'd say literally anything to get one faster. Two lines of block capitals on black or white. No graphics, no subtlety, no patience.

Who actually wears this?

People who treat "I need a beer" as a medical emergency. It's the shirt for the person at the bar who doesn't want small talk, just a cold one, right now.

Works after a twelve-hour shift, a family reunion, or a Tuesday. Pair it with cargo shorts and a total disregard for other people's opinions. The Give Me A Beer Or I'll Kill Myself Tee isn't trying to be clever. It's trying to get served faster.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't fall apart after three washes (the bar is low, we clear it)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're not a V-neck person and we both know it
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print that keeps its color even when you can't keep yours
• Available in black or white

Will this offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's sort of the whole deal.

If you need everyone in the room to approve of your outfit, keep scrolling. But if you've ever had a bartender laugh at you before you even ordered, you get it. The Give Me A Beer Or I'll Kill Myself Tee says what everyone at happy hour is thinking. You're just the one honest enough to wear it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable no matter how you like your shirts.

Is this a good gift for a beer lover?
If they laugh at stuff that makes other people uncomfortable, absolutely. If you have to think about it, get them a gift card.

What's the print quality like?
DTG printed, so the design stays crisp and doesn't crack or fade. It'll outlast your patience for sure.

Does it come in other colors?
Black and white. Clean, simple, and honestly all it needs.

Is the cotton heavyweight?
Yes. Thick, sturdy cotton. Not the tissue-paper stuff that goes see-through after one wash.