I Don’t Need Sex Life Fucks Me Everyday Tee

The "I Don't Need Sex Life Fucks Me Everyday" tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone whose daily existence feels like an unsolicited stress test. It's self-deprecating, it's vulgar, and it's painfully accurate. If life's been going in dry, at least your wardrobe can be honest about it.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who've accepted that their horoscope just says "things will continue to go wrong." You know the type. They laugh at their own misfortune because crying in public is frowned upon. This shirt is less of a fashion choice and more of a public service announcement about your week. Every week.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle your life falling apart repeatedly
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck (for when you're getting choked by responsibilities)
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your will to live doesn't
• Machine washable, because you've got enough problems

Is This a Good Gift?

One of the best, actually. If someone in your life is perpetually getting wrecked by the universe, this is the most thoughtful thing you can hand them. It says "I see your suffering and I think it's funny." Which, honestly, is the foundation of every great friendship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt offensive?

It's got the word "fucks" on it, so probably don't wear it to church. But if your audience has a pulse and a sense of humor, you're fine.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Life screws everyone equally regardless of size.

Will the print fade after washing?

Nope. DTG printing keeps the design locked in. Your shirt will outlast your optimism.

Is this a unisex shirt?

Yes. It's a relaxed fit that works on anyone who's given up pretending life is going well.