Hair Would Only Slow Me Down Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Hair Would Only Slow Me Down tee from Unethical Threads is bald-guy confidence printed on the back of a heavyweight cotton shirt. Available in black or white, S through 4XL. It's the funniest gift you can hand a bald dad, husband, or friend, and they'll actually wear it.

Who's this actually for?

Any bald (or balding) guy who stopped grieving and started flexing. The text sits across the back of the shirt, so people only read it as you walk past them. Which is the most aerodynamic way to deliver a punchline.

It also works if you're the person shopping for that bald guy. You already know who you're thinking of. Get him this instead of another beanie.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL (yes, your big bald uncle is covered)
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed for color that sticks around longer than your hairline did
• Design on the back. Front is blank. Aerodynamics, remember?

Is this a good gift for a bald guy?

It's basically the ideal gift for any bald person with a pulse and a sense of humor. Father's Day, birthdays, Christmas, "I noticed you stopped buying shampoo" day.

If the bald guy in your life can laugh at himself, this lands every time. And if he can't? That's a bigger problem than this shirt can solve, but it's a start.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt say?
HAIR WOULD ONLY SLOW ME DOWN, printed in stacked text across the back. The front is completely blank.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

What colors is it available in?
Black or white.

Is this a good Father's Day gift?
If your dad is bald and has a sense of humor, yes. If he's bald and doesn't have a sense of humor, also yes. He needs this more than you think.

Will the print fade or crack?
It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so no cracking or peeling. Follow the care instructions and it'll hold up.