AAA Hand Me My Keys T Shirt

The Hand Me My Keys tee from Unethical Threads puts your worst bar-closing instinct right on your chest. Beer bottles, one simple request, and the kind of confidence only six drinks can give you. This is not a PSA.

Who's actually wearing this?

The person who's already three deep and just told the group they're "totally fine."

You know the type. You might be the type. This shirt is the self-aware version of that energy, for people who can laugh at the impulse without actually following through. Mostly.

• Heavyweight cotton that survives a night out and the morning after
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (room for bar snacks)
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your memory of last night fades
• Pre-shrunk, because your decisions shrink enough on their own

Can I give this as a gift?

If the person laughs, absolutely.

If they lecture you about it, you just learned something important about that friendship. This lands hardest with the friend who always volunteers to drive and immediately orders a pitcher. Perfect for birthdays, white elephants, or just because you want to watch someone open a package and say "oh no" while grinning.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt promote drunk driving?
No. It promotes having a sense of humor about bad ideas. If you need a t-shirt to tell you not to drink and drive, you have bigger problems than your wardrobe.

What sizes does the Hand Me My Keys shirt come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

How should I wash this?
Inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print holds up well, but don't treat it like you treat your liver.

Will this offend people?
Some people, absolutely. Those people were never going to buy it anyway.