Hot Dog Powered Fuck Machine Tee

The Hot Dog Powered Fuck Machine Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like, and no, we're not going to explain it further. Heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who saw the name and immediately hit "add to cart" instead of asking questions.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who think absurdity is an underappreciated art form. Your friend group has a spectrum, and you're the one on the far end that everyone warns new people about.

This is not a shirt for people who test the waters. This is for people who cannonball into the deep end wearing cargo shorts and a grin. You already know if you're that person. The fact that you're still reading confirms it.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a translucent napkin from a gas station giveaway
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL, because poor decisions should be inclusive
• Crew neck, classic and simple (the shirt handles the chaos department)
• DTG print for colors that stay vivid no matter how many times you wash it
• Machine washable, which you'll need after the reactions you get wearing this in public

Can I Give This as a Gift?

Absolutely, if you know your audience. This is the gift equivalent of a trust fall. You either have the kind of friendship where this lands perfectly, or you're about to find out you don't.

Birthdays, white elephant exchanges, bachelor parties. Anywhere the bar for taste is already on the floor. Wrap it in tissue paper and hand it over with a straight face for maximum effect.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the design look like?
It's a hot dog with an energy and attitude that the product name accurately describes. Check the photos above for the full picture.

Does this shirt run true to size?
It's a relaxed unisex fit. If you're between sizes, go with your usual. The relaxed cut gives you room without looking like a tent.

Is the print going to crack or fade?
Nope. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric, so it holds up through the wash cycle without peeling or fading.

Will this get me weird looks in public?
Yes. That is the entire point. If you wanted subtle, you would not be shopping at Unethical Threads.

What's the return policy?
Check the return policy page on our site. But honestly, once you put this on, you're not sending it back.