I Am Not Dink As You Thrunk I Am Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Am Not Dink As You Thrunk I Am tee from Unethical Threads puts your best slurred defense right between your shoulder blades. What you meant to say was "I am not as drunk as you think I am." What actually came out is printed on the back of this shirt in full, glorious confidence.

Who's this shirt actually for?

Anyone who has ever delivered that line with absolute conviction and zero accuracy. The back print does the talking so your mouth doesn't have to, which, based on the evidence, is for the best.

Wear it to the bar, the tailgate, the cookout, the family reunion nobody invited you to. It works everywhere drinks are poured and bad decisions are celebrated. Your friends already know. Now strangers walking behind you will too.

• Heavyweight cotton that survives a night out and the washing machine the next morning
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (your post-beer body is welcome here)
• Classic crew neck because you're sloppy, not complicated
• DTG print embedded in the fabric for color that outlasts your dignity
• Back print design so everyone behind you gets the full experience

Does this work as a gift?

It's practically built for it. This is the shirt your friend needs but would never buy for themselves.

Bachelor parties, birthdays, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. Perfect for the person who "only had two" five drinks ago. If you know someone whose mouth runs faster than their brain after a couple rounds, congratulations, you just found their uniform.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the design on the front or back of the shirt?

The back. The full text is printed between the shoulder blades, so the person behind you gets to enjoy your slurred wisdom.

Are "Dink" and "Thrunk" typos?

No. The letters are scrambled on purpose, exactly the way your words come out after a few rounds. "Dink" is "drunk" and "Thrunk" is "think," rearranged the way your mouth would do it.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.

Will the print crack or fade?

The DTG print is embedded directly in the cotton fibers, not sitting on top. It holds its color through repeated washes.

Can I actually wear this to a bar?

You can and you should. It's basically a public service announcement.