I Am Not Dink As You Thrunk I Am Tee

The I Am Not Dink As You Thrunk I Am tee from Unethical Threads is the shirt you put on when "I am not as drunk as you think I am" is a sentence your mouth can no longer handle. Text-only front print. No images, no graphics, just your blood alcohol level doing the talking.

Who actually wears this?

People who've been told "you've had enough" and took it as a dare.

This is for the friend who orders the fourth round, insists they're "totally fine," and then tries to pay with their library card. The one who wakes up wearing someone else's shoes and calls it a good night. If your idea of a personality trait is "fun at open bar," this shirt already knows you.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after one bar crawl
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (room for bad decisions and bar snacks)
• Classic crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG print that bonds ink into the fabric, so the text outlasts your hangover
• Pre-shrunk, meaning it still fits after your third brunch mimosa

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift for someone who'd genuinely laugh at it, and an excellent way to test a friendship with someone who wouldn't.

Birthdays, bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges, "I saw this and thought of you" moments. This is the shirt that says "I know exactly who you are and I support it." Pair it with a bottle of something and you've got a complete care package for the proudly over served.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the shirt actually say "dink" and "thrunk"?

Yes. Those aren't typos. The whole point is that the words came out scrambled because the wearer is, in fact, exactly as drunk as you think they are.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

The DTG printing method bonds ink directly into the fabric fibers. It holds up through regular washing without cracking or peeling.

Is this appropriate for work?

That depends entirely on where you work and how much you like your job.

Can I wear this to a bar?

You can wear it anywhere, but bars are where it really shines. Bartenders will either love you or cut you off faster.