I Bet Your Birthstone Is A Crack Rock Tee

The I Bet Your Birthstone Is A Crack Rock tee is the roast you've been wanting to deliver without actually catching a charge. Unethical Threads put it on heavyweight cotton so your mouth doesn't have to do the heavy lifting. Available in black or white.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who roast their friends as a love language. The kind of person who says the thing everyone was thinking but had too much self-preservation to say out loud.

If you've ever looked at someone and thought "yeah, their astrological sign is irrelevant here," this is your shirt. It's insult-comic energy you can fold and put in a drawer.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S to 4XL
• Crew neck because V-necks are for people with something to prove
• DTG printed so the graphic stays sharp, no cracking or peeling
• Available in black or white, both equally confrontational

Does this work as a gift?

Absolutely, if you know the recipient can take a joke. And honestly, if they can't, that's their birthstone showing.

Birthday gifts, roast nights, fantasy league punishments, "thinking of you" energy when you're really thinking something specific. Just make sure you're handing this to someone who laughs at the dark stuff. Otherwise you're just being mean, and that's our job.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?

S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit across the board.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers. It holds up wash after wash.

Does this come in colors other than black and white?

Just black and white for now. Pick your fighter.

Is this going to offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's the whole point. If everyone liked your shirt, it wouldn't be an Unethical Threads shirt.

How is this different from the "My Birthstone Is A Crack Rock" shirt?

That one is self-deprecating. This one is aimed at someone else. Same energy, different target.