I Came Here To Drink And F*ck And I'm Almost Done Drinking Tee

The I Came Here To Drink And F*ck And I'm Almost Done Drinking Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A loud, text-only declaration of intent for anyone who's two drinks deep and feeling honest. Black tee, white text, no subtlety required.

Who actually wears this?

People with a sense of humor and a tolerance for uncomfortable eye contact.

This is the shirt you throw on when you're heading somewhere loud, cheap, and potentially regrettable. Bachelor parties. Dive bars. Your cousin's wedding reception after the open bar kicks in. It's text-only and reads across a room, so commitment to the bit is mandatory.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't dissolve after three washes like your last relationship
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck (the neckline of champions and degenerates alike)
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay vivid even when your life choices don't
• Machine washable, because we know where this shirt is going

Will this get me kicked out of somewhere?

Almost certainly, depending on where you go.

Look, if you're wearing a shirt that announces your immediate plans for the evening, you're self-selecting for venues that appreciate that kind of energy. Libraries and daycare centers are probably out. But the bartender at your local dive? They've seen worse. They've done worse.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt true to size?

Yes. It runs standard unisex sizing. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people find their usual size fits right.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. The DTG print method bonds ink directly to the fabric, so it holds its color through countless washes without cracking or peeling.

Is this appropriate for work?

That depends entirely on where you work. If your office has a ping pong table and a keg, probably fine. If it has an HR department, probably not.

What's the shirt made of?

100% heavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, not so thick you overheat at the bar.