I Don't Do Sausage I'm A Vagitarian Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Don't Do Sausage I'm A Vagitarian Tee from Unethical Threads puts your dietary stance right where it counts: on the back. Everyone in line behind you gets to read it. Available in black or white.

Who actually wears this?

People who've made their peace with never being invited to the office potluck.

This one's for the proud, the loud, and the completely unbothered. Whether you're a lesbian who's done with subtlety or just someone who appreciates a truly committed dietary pun, this back print does the talking while you walk away. Literally. It's on the back of the shirt.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper promo tee
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because your appetite has nothing to do with your size
• Classic crew neck (boring but correct)
• DTG printed for color that outlasts most of your situationships
• Design printed on the back, so your exit is just as memorable as your entrance

Is this a good gift?

If you know someone's dietary preferences well enough to buy this, you're already closer than most.

Works for birthdays, Pride, bachelorette parties, or a random Tuesday when you want to make someone ugly-laugh. Fair warning: do not give this to your coworker unless you've read the room and the HR handbook.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Vagitarian tee come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable no matter your build.

Is the design on the front or back?

Back only. The front stays clean so you can look innocent from the front. The reveal happens when you walk away.

Will this shirt shrink in the wash?

It's heavyweight cotton, pre-shrunk. Holds its shape through washes.

Can I actually wear this in public?

Legally, yes. Socially, that depends on your crowd and your confidence level.