I Don't Need Beer Goggles For You Tee

The I Don't Need Beer Goggles For You Tee from Unethical Threads is probably the nicest thing anyone's said to you in a dive bar parking lot. Stone-cold sober and still interested. Heavyweight cotton, available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL.

Who Actually Wears This?

People whose compliments sound like insults until the other person catches up.

This is the shirt for anyone who skips the rehearsed pickup line and just says what they're thinking. Works at the bar, works at brunch, works as an apology for literally everything else you've said that day. If your flirting style has ever been described as "aggressively honest," welcome home.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't disintegrate after three washes like your last situationship
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Everyone gets to be this charming.
• Crew neck. Classic. Nothing controversial about the neckline, at least.
• DTG print for color that actually lasts. Unlike your filter after two drinks.
• Available in black or white. Pick your fighter.

Can You Actually Gift This?

If you know them well enough, absolutely.

This is the gift you give someone you're already with, not someone you're trying to impress at a dinner party. Context matters. Gift it to the right person and you're a legend. Gift it to the wrong person and you're writing an apology text at 2 AM. Read the room.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the I Don't Need Beer Goggles For You Tee come in?

Sizes S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs a little roomy. Size down if you want it more fitted.

Is this shirt available in other colors?

It comes in black or white. Two options, both correct.

Will the print fade or crack?

DTG printing keeps the graphic locked in. Wash inside out on cold and you'll get years out of it.

Is this a good gift for my partner?

If they laugh at your worst jokes, yes. If they don't, this shirt is the least of your problems.