I Don't Need Therapy I Need A Bail Bondsman Tee

The I Don't Need Therapy I Need A Bail Bondsman tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who skipped the therapist's office and went straight to making questionable life choices. It says what your group chat already knows about you. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, no apology included.

Who actually wears this?

People who saved a bail bondsman's number before they saved their dentist's.

The friend everyone calls at 2 AM, not for advice, but because they're already awake and probably the reason you need the number in the first place. If you've ever been described as "a lot," this is your uniform.

• Heavyweight cotton that can take a hit (and a few more after that)
• DTG print (direct-to-garment), so the colors stay loud even after your 50th wash
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because poor decisions come in every size
• Crew neck, because you're not fancy, and we respect that
• Preshrunk fabric so it fits the same on day one and day one hundred

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift if the recipient has a sense of humor and possibly a record.

Nothing says "I know the real you" like handing someone a shirt that implies they need legal intervention more than emotional support. Baby showers? Probably not. Bachelor parties, birthdays for your most unhinged friend, or a "congrats on the charges being dropped" present? Absolutely.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually soft or is it stiff like cardboard?

It's heavyweight cotton, so it has some structure to it, but it's not scratchy or uncomfortable. Breaks in nicely after a wash or two.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?

DTG printing soaks the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and it'll keep looking fresh.

Can I wear this to court?

We can't legally advise against it, but your lawyer might.