I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A mock-wholesome dietary declaration printed on the back of a heavyweight cotton tee, available in black or white. Your nutrition plan, your business.

Who's actually buying this?

People who think food puns peaked with cockitarian. Bachelorette parties, pride events, anyone whose group chat would lose it over this shirt.

It's the kind of thing that makes someone either high-five you or pretend they didn't see you, and both reactions are the point. The I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian backprint does the talking so you don't have to.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually holds up
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print that won't crack, peel, or ghost after 50 washes
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gag gift?

It's a great gag gift. Bachelorette parties, white elephant exchanges, birthday presents for the friend who has no filter.

The Cockitarian tee hits that sweet spot where it's funny enough to actually wear, not just funny enough to unwrap. Most novelty shirts live in a drawer. This one earns its rotation.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does cockitarian mean?

It's a made-up diet label. Use context clues.

Is the design on the front or back?

The back. The front is blank, so you get a solid moment of looking normal before people read the rest.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no sad flaking after a few washes.

Can I wear this to work?

That depends entirely on your workplace. We're not your HR department.