I Got My Ass Ate At Trader Joes Tee

The I Got My Ass Ate At Trader Joes tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. No hidden meaning, no metaphor, just the raw truth printed on heavyweight cotton. Wear it to your next grocery run and let the sample station lady process that in real time.

Who actually wears this?

People who treat Trader Joe's like a personality trait. If you've ever made deeply uncomfortable eye contact with someone over the frozen mandarin orange chicken, this shirt already belongs to you.

It's also for the person in every friend group whose texts make people screenshot and send to the group chat without them. You know exactly who you are.

• Heavyweight cotton thick enough to absorb the judgmental stares at checkout
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print keeps the colors locked in through every wash
• Pre-shrunk fabric, so your regrettable decisions won't affect the fit

Is this actually a good gift?

One of the best gifts you'll ever give. If someone in your life shops at Trader Joe's and has the kind of humor that gets them uninvited from family events, this is the move.

Birthday, White Elephant, divorce party, "sorry about your promotion" party. The only people who won't appreciate it are people you don't need in your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt really about Trader Joe's?

It's about whatever happened at Trader Joe's. We don't ask questions, we just print shirts.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on basically everybody.

Will this shirt shrink?

The fabric is pre-shrunk. Your courage to wear it in public might shrink, but the shirt won't.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

No. DTG printing means the design is part of the fabric, not sitting on top of it. It stays vivid.

Can I wear this to actual Trader Joe's?

You can and you should. Report back.