I Got Two Wolves Inside Me And They Won't Stop F*cking Tee

The I Got Two Wolves Inside Me And They Won't Stop F*cking Tee is Unethical Threads' take on the classic "two wolves" proverb, and it ruins the whole thing completely. Forget the noble battle between good and evil. Yours are just going at it, printed in retro style on heavyweight cotton.

Who actually wears this?

People who saw the "two wolves inside you" meme a thousand times and decided it needed to get weirder. That's the whole demographic.

If you've ever deadpanned the original proverb at someone and then immediately undermined it, this is your shirt. It reads like a cursed motivational poster and hits hardest on people who recognize the source material. The vintage graphic sells the bit even harder.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like an actual shirt, not a suggestion of one
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, so everyone can represent their inner wolves
• Crew neck. Classic. Won't distract from the chaos below it.
• DTG print that holds its color. These wolves aren't fading anytime soon.
• Available in black or white with a retro/vintage graphic that looks like a deeply unhinged thrift store find

Can I give this as a gift?

Yes, but only if you know your target. This is a precision gift, not a "grab something funny" gift.

You either know someone who will put this on immediately and refuse to take it off, or you don't. There is no in-between. If you're wondering whether they'd find it funny, they won't. But if you already have a specific person in mind and you're grinning right now, just buy it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt actually say?

The full text reads "I GOT TWO WOLVES INSIDE ME AND THEY WON'T STOP F*CKING." Retro-style graphic with two wolves and that exact line printed on the front.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.

Will the print hold up in the wash?

Yes. DTG printing keeps the color and detail intact. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and you're good.

Is this going to offend people?

Almost certainly. That's kind of the point.

What color options are there?

Black or white. Both look great with the retro wolf graphic.