I Hate Being A Grower Cuz If I Get Pantsed I Gotta Start Cranking Hog Tee

The I Hate Being A Grower Cuz If I Get Pantsed I Gotta Start Cranking Hog tee is exactly what it sounds like. Unethical Threads made this for anyone who's thought way too hard about the grower-vs-shower dilemma and arrived at the worst possible conclusion. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, sizes S-4XL.

Who actually wears this?

People who peaked in the locker room. Or never peaked at all, which is kind of the whole point.

This is the shirt for the guy who already tells this joke out loud at parties. Putting it on a tee just saves him the vocal warmup. Everyone has an opinion on the grower-vs-shower debate, and this shirt will drag it out of them whether you asked or not.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't go see-through after three washes (important, given the subject matter)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S-4XL
• Crew neck, because a V-neck on this shirt would be sending mixed signals
• DTG printed for color that outlasts your reputation
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough. Like, "shared a gym locker" well enough.

If you're here wondering whether your buddy would think it's funny, they would. If you're considering it for a coworker, read the room. Or don't.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Is the print going to crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric, so it stays sharp no matter how many times you wash it.

Does this come in other colors?

It's available in black or white. Pick whichever matches your energy.

Can I return it if my girlfriend doesn't think it's funny?

Check the return policy on the site. But honestly, that might be a girlfriend problem, not a shirt problem.