I Hate Cheap Toilet Paper I Almost Fingered My Own Ass Tee

The I Hate Cheap Toilet Paper I Almost Fingered My Own Ass tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's been personally betrayed by single-ply. Available in black or white, it puts your most relatable bathroom horror on full display.

Who actually wears this?

People who've experienced the poke-through and lived to tell the tale.

This isn't niche humor. Everyone has had that moment where cheap toilet paper tested their boundaries, and the ones willing to wear it on a shirt are just more honest about it. It works at barbecues, bars, and anywhere people appreciate someone who says the quiet part loud.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not like the TP this tee is roasting
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, classic cut
• DTG print for color that survives your laundry habits
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

Yes. It's an elite gag gift.

White elephant, birthday, housewarming (especially if you know the host buys the thin stuff). Give it to anyone who's ever told a bathroom story after two beers. Just read the room first, because some people's sense of humor hasn't caught up to their lived experience yet.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. The DTG printing process puts ink directly into the fabric instead of sitting on top. It holds up through washes.

What colors is this available in?
Black and white.

Is this going to offend people?
Almost certainly. That's the point. If someone reads your shirt and gets uncomfortable, they've probably lived through the same scenario and aren't ready to laugh about it yet.