I Hate Crotch Goblins Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Hate Crotch Goblins Tee from Unethical Threads is a backprint statement for anyone who's done pretending they like other people's kids. Available in black or white, this heavyweight cotton tee lets the people behind you know exactly where you stand.

Who's actually buying this?

Child-free people who are completely done being polite about it.

The ones who've heard "you'll change your mind" enough times to need a wardrobe-based rebuttal. This shirt picks up where the eye roll leaves off. It's not subtle. That's the whole point.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually survives laundry
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because even child-free people deserve classic silhouettes
• DTG printed so the message stays crisp and legible
• Design on the back, for maximum impact as you walk away from someone else's screaming toddler

Does this actually work as a gift?

If you know someone who's vocally child-free, this is the easiest gift decision you'll ever make.

It's for your friend who brings noise-cancelling headphones to family gatherings. The one who has opinions about kids in breweries. They already think it. You're just making it wearable.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does crotch goblins mean?

It's internet slang for other people's kids. If you had to Google that, this shirt might not be for you.

Is the design on the front or back of the shirt?

The back. So you can make your point while walking away. Poetic, really.

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit.

Will this shirt offend people?

Almost certainly. That's not a flaw, it's the feature.

Does the print fade after washing?

No. DTG printing locks the color in. Your opinions about children will outlast your other graphic tees.