I Identify As Tequila Pour Me Black Tee

The I Identify As Tequila Pour Me Black Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who resolved their identity question with agave and poor decisions. Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is.

Who actually wears this?

People who've made peace with their priorities.

This shirt lands hardest at Cinco de Mayo parties, brewery crawls, and anywhere tequila is being poured (so, your kitchen on a Tuesday). It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.

• Heavyweight cotton that can outlast your worst decisions
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because good humor has no size limit
• Crew neck, the only classic thing about you
• DTG print (direct-to-garment), so the design stays sharp long after your memories don't
• Pre-shrunk fabric, because at least your shirt should have its life together

Is this actually a good gift?

If you know someone whose personality is at least 40% tequila, absolutely.

This is the gift that says "I see you and I support your choices" without you having to say it out loud. Works for birthdays, Cinco de Mayo, bachelor parties, or any occasion where someone needs to publicly declare their relationship with agave. Wrap it or don't. They won't care once they see it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

Sizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check our size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this shirt shrink?

It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. It keeps its shape better than you keep your composure around an open bar.

How is the design printed?

DTG (direct-to-garment) printing. The design is printed directly into the fabric, so it won't crack, peel, or fade after washing.

Can I wear this to a family event?

You can wear it anywhere. Whether you should is between you and whatever passes for your impulse control.

How do I wash it?

Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to baby it. The print handles regular washing just fine.