I Love The Earth Thats Why I Bury My Bodies Here Tee

The I Love The Earth Thats Why I Bury My Bodies Here Tee is Unethical Threads at its most unhinged. Part environmentalist statement, part crime scene confession, all heavyweight cotton. If your sense of humor has ever cleared a room, welcome home.

Who actually wears this?

People who compost and consume true crime content at the same rate. This one is for anyone with strong opinions about both soil quality and podcast murder cases. The overlap between "dedicated environmentalist" and "alarmingly funny" is narrow, but the people in it are fully committed. If your gardening jokes have ever gotten nervous laughter, you already belong.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not like a napkin with sleeves
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're making questionable jokes, not questionable neckline choices
• DTG printed so the colors stay locked in through every wash cycle
• Pre-shrunk fabric, because at least one thing in your life should be predictable

Is this a good gift?

For the right person, absolutely. For the wrong person, it's a cry for help. If your giftee binges true crime shows, makes jokes that land between clever and concerning, or thinks Earth Day needs more edge, this is the one. Everyone else gets socks.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

Sizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Works for everyone with a dark enough sense of humor to pull it off.

Will the print fade after washing?

No. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Your love for the earth (and its burial potential) stays vibrant through every cycle.

Is this shirt really about the environment?

Technically yes. The word "earth" is just pulling double duty here. We support the planet. We also support jokes about the planet.

What's the fabric like?

Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough for whatever you get up to out there.

Can I return it if someone gets offended?

Yes, but that says more about them than the shirt. Check our return policy for details.